Anyone else a swinger?

okay, yes... some words draw people in. It's like Newsies, and the paper business, and knowing what words sell papes, right? :D

But, I do mean swinger. No one can continue on a line at the same velocity forever. We slow down. We divert. Boredom sets in. Whatever the circumstances might be... so within the last year, I've lost most of my diabetes followers. [Lost seems to be a recurring theme for me lately!] I closed my 'Betes Blog all together because I just couldn't keep up with both. You remember that... :D

Perhaps it's time to hook that wagon back up to the horse and get on. New gadgets help to increase motivation! Right now, I'm waiting on a new insulin pump and a new Continuous Glucose Monitoring Sensor. The pump is a bonus. The sensor is a replacement, because mine finally broke in July. Technically though, I'd gone on a break months earlier and had only been wearing the thing once in a while. Which is why my A1c was 6.7 this week. :P Yuck. I knew it was going to be higher than I wanted, but I suppose the fact that's it's under 7 is pretty good. I expected it to be over 7, possibly as high as 8.

I'm looking around at myself eating like I haven't since I was pregnant. Not over-eating, just eating all the carb happy foods instead of the foods that will be good for me and help me keep my sugars down without pumping unGodly amounts of insulin into my body. More insulin = more body fat. And that's a big booo for me. More fats and proteins = less insulin = more stable sugars. Time to change my grocery list...

Now the question is... do I hurry up and finish all that zuchini bread I made yesterday? Or do I jump on the wagon now and watch everyone else eat it. :(


Is there stress here?

I have a tendency to NOT recognize stress. I'm a laidback person--I am! I don't care about germs. I don't care about messes. My parenting skills are often guilty of inconsistency...

So, when I'm getting ready to move. I have a book coming out in two[ish] weeks. My kids are about to get out of school for good. And I'm planning a trip to FL... I don't always recognize that this could all be a bit stressful until a friend says, Maybe it's stress?

And of course, that makes me laugh. Duh, I think to myself. No wonder your sugars are off and you can't seem to gain the same kind of control you normally do!!! *eyeroll* No worries, people. I've been overdosing like crazy and wondering why... now I know why. So the issue of good blood glucose isn't critical. It's the why that was causing me trouble. Now that I know, I feel easier overdosing in order to gain that control.

Basal: 130%, Get used to it. Something tells me, we're in for the long haul until I settle down again in Colorado.

The Older I get...

The less I feel like doctors want to listen to me.

I have hit a wall in my search for a doctor who will acknowledge that I know just as much if not MORE than he does. This latest doctor is the worst! Not only is he the worst, he loves himself WAY TOO MUCH. He says that he is working with Minimed, consulting with them to change things, but the changes he suggests do NOT coincide with how I manage my diabetes. As a matter of fact, it leaves everything to the doctor [which is good for the doctor with the God complex]. It eliminates the use of 95% of the data I get from my CGM and pump. He wants premeal blood glucose levels and a bedtime one, if I feel like it.


Isn't that taking a step BACK in diabetes management?

"Uh, yes ma'am, it sure as hell is." <--that's me, talking to myself.

See, there's this AVERAGE in diabetes that is a statement of about how much basal insulin [basal is the ongoing rate, not based on what you eat] a typical diabetic will use. The rates, starting at midnight, rise at predawn then slowly decrease through the day. Sooo, maybe I'm not that typical, but Dr. God, on seeing my rates, shook his head and said, "This is a mess."

He then proceeded to suggest changes that replicate what an average diabetic's basal rates should be.

But, after seven years on the pump and three kids later, I can tell you, without a doubt, that my basal rates do not follow that trend. WHAT?! how is that possible?! But, again, as with my last doctor, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. [or perhaps I just wanted to prove him wrong] But I changed my rates to his suggestions and watched my sugars go way up and stay there for three days, with just an occasional drop because of the raging corrections I made.

Now, let me set you straight. Perhaps you want to believe I'm just too obstinate or rebellious or bad. What do they call it when a patient refuses to follow doctor's orders? I don't know, but it would be easy to believe I am that patient. It's true I've changed doctors a good bit, but at this point, it has never been because I disagreed with a doctor. I just move around a lot. When I saw this new guy for the first time and he said my A1c of 6.4 was good, I knew it wasn't going to work. I've had an A1c of under 6 for over a year. I've had NO hypoglycemic episodes [low blood sugar symptoms] of the debilitating variety. My sugars are tight and that's how I like them, because we all know that the better and lower I can keep them, the less likely I am to get complications. You know, like retinopathy or neuropathy or glaucoma or appendage loss... heeellllllooooo?!?! Dude, really? Don't tell me a 6.4 is okay. Ask me if a 6.4 is okay with me.

This is the first time in 23 years, I am about to cancel an appointment with a doctor because I really dislike him alot. Part of me wants to write him a letter to make sure he knows that he is NOT helping the diabetic community. That his methods, even if they work for him or most of his patients, are not giving them the tools to manage their own diabetes, which is the ultimate freedom.

Or I could just quietly leave.

I just switched from Standard Tricare to Prime, which basically means we're going from a PPO plan to an HMO plan [another story all together], but it does give me the option of talking to another doctor and getting a feel for who out there, if anyone, can let me be in control. hahahaha.