I have so much planned for this fall--another book releasing late in the year, new stories to write, old books to promote--so I went looking for someone to help me. I was kindly pointed in the direction of The Book Enthusiast by a woman who I worked with previously but who is just too busy to consider taking on new clients.
So, I hopped over to the webpage and began plucking around. And then I read a guest article by a writer I've never heard of [I live in a cave, so this means nothing!], A.D. Ellis. She wrote of the Green Monster. And her words sturck a chord deep inside me. Deep, deep...okay, not so deep. More like that puddle out front that I have to step over to get to the mailbox. But there it was--the chord of dissonance. The one strummed by those pesky fingers of Envy.
But instead of talking about the woe is me of it all... I want to truly look at my pattern and see what the heck is going on. And let me tell you, it did not take long to nail down my weakness. Not to get too cliche or anything, but you've heard of the saying about idle hands, right? :P That's me. When I come to a lull in my work or finish a project or even take a short break, I start looking around and seeing things I don't have... I don't have all those reviews, I don't have any great rankings, I can't get an emailed answered for the life of me. I start to think I'm cursed. I wonder if I've been blacklisted by agents and editors alike! Waaah.
And I get a little jealous! Sometimes alot jealous. :P
Let me just say, there are pros and cons to the Green Monster.
Con: feels like crappity, crap selfishnes rearing its head and making me crazy.
Pro: It's motivating. Like A.D. Ellis said, I don't like being envious. No one wants to admit that they have these cruddy feelings. So, finding a way around them is key. And for me that means doing more and staying busy in the first place. Contacting a few more reveiwers or agents or editors. It means pulling out a friend's chapter to critique or even just reading a good book. Going back to the bottom line. Why do I write? Because I like to read. I should never have time to think about what everyone else is doing. I have dozens of stories, waiting to be written or revised.
So, this is what the writing does.
- holds off Envy
- reminds me to look away from myself
That, I'll take.
Have a great weekend, everyone.