I am just sick to death of being the bad guy, the yeller, the one who gets dirty looks, the one who can't control a temper. Why do I give a you-know-what? Why do I let it bother me when no one listens? When no one does what they are asked to do?
I don't need to yell. Or swear. [or burp or sneeze or fart <--sorry, couldn't help myself. LOVE Despicable Me!] I wonder what they would do if I...like, started praying in tongues every time I usually lose my temper? Or sang Broadway Musicals? Or did a little tap dance? Or performed a dramatic reading from my current book?
Does anyone really LIKE being a parent? I see photos on FB. Status updates from other families. And they all look so happy. And it used to be okay. I mean, when the kids were littler and still loved me, it was wonderful! Now, I don't know.
I used to be fun. I smiled a lot. Laughed a few times a day. I knew how to relax, enjoy stuff. Now it seems like I'm always looking for the next 'me time' or the next out. Always looking for an exit, a chance to get away. The kids know it... I suppose maybe they feel as unloved as I do.
I think tomorrow I will start by getting out of the car at school and hugging the kids goodbye...
Win me any points??? I don't think so, but you know what? [see New Rules above] No caring.
I don't care.